[Wednesday July 08, 09 11:02am] Well, I'm already at an airport again. Heading home. The vacation was pretty good. Monday when we arrived at Atlantic City we went out to eat at chilis (not my choice, i wanted the 'true nj experience' not the cheesy bean unlimited dip) and then we headed to Sheann's home. Its lovely! Their next door neighbors own goats and horses and they had rabbits running around their yards. They had GROUNDHOGS! Groundhogs, for christ's sake!! How awesome. We got a tour of the house, Chris's sister Michelle's husband came from NY and they played this Wii game called..redneck something. Idk. I played the Sims. The tiny living room was the bedroom for chris, me, his dad, his sister, & her husband. Michelle & Jason got an inflatable mattress, RB (Chris's dad) got the love seat and graciously allowed me to sleep in the big couch and chris got a sleeping bag next to me. I actually slept well but i cant say the same for chris & michelle & Jason. Tuesday was the funeral. We went in frst with the immediate family and had a open casket goodbye. I actually didnt know Lisa very well so I didnt cry, or was very affected. Then at 9 they closed the casket and had non immediate family and friends come. There was a lot of crying. I actually cried a bit because Lisa's brother & her nephew were sobbing so hard and I'd never seen grown men cry like that. After the funeral part we went to the burial site, said a prayer, headed to Sam (the brothers) house for food. That was nice. After the food Michelle, Jason, Chris & I went to another town to visit their grandma for about 3 hours just chatting. Finally we left, went back to Millville (hehe) and we went out to dinner at a fabulous diner. That was good. Then we went back to the house and slept. Woke up in the AM. I had cannolis and 9AM Meatloaf. Then we came here. We didnt get to stop at town tuckahoe unfortunately. Oh well. Now we're back at the airport and leaving to go home. the end! CMNT

[Monday July 06, 09 01:33pm] oh, and i dont hate my job anymore. now i work in the data entry department handling the faxes/enrolling some new clients. its excellent. i bought an ipod touch to listen to music and look cool so its all good. CMNT

[Monday July 06, 09 01:24pm] Well, per usual I hardly update. But really there isnt much to tell. I work. I sleep. I watch tv, go out, have sex, and repeat. Chris and I are still together. 10 blissful months tomorrow. His mom moved in last week because she has no place to live when her lease went out and because we could use the money she gets from her alimony. She also took her cat, which i could live without. but whatever. my cat, sam, runs out sometimes at night when we're opening the door and he keeps getting into fights and coming home in the morning scratched up like shit. poor thing. we took him to my moms house for a few days while i was cat-sitting for this girl liz. my cat lost a lot of weight! poor thing was already thin as is. chris lost his stepmom. she had bone cancer. his poor dad. so we're actually at the airport right now. we're going to atlantic city until wednesday for the funeral. idk where we're staying. i think we're staying at his stepmother's daughters house. that'll be a tearfest. but i have chris and my laptop so ill be ok. i bought a laptop with some of my income tax money. its a dell studio 15. i dont have internet at home so all ive done is play the sims 3. i love the sims 3. i was only play the sims 1 before, not even sims 2. so yeah, its excellent. this is my first time online and i dont really have anything to do so all ive done is play the sims. umm. i start college august 24th. and my birthday is the 24th of this month. ill be 20. err. well, i guess thats it then. CMNT

[Tuesday March 10, 09 03:12pm] I feel so bad for chris. He has so much going on. His mom just potentially totaled his car so she has to move in by the end of the month so we can save money for her and us and give him money to repair his car. He said he wants her gone as soon as she can and he's taking over both the cars and she's not allowed to drive. I don't know how it'll be when she moves in, or how we'll fit her stuff. I dunno. She's very sick, but still. As much as I empathize for her I am more inclined to worry about chris. We have to go to jimy johns to get my W2 and go get toilet paper then I go home. He may go fishing. We took yesterday off and started applying. All I need is my dads 08 W2 and my SAT scores which I've already printed. Yay. CMNT

[Monday February 23, 09 04:54pm] I have just swallowed my first pretty green pill. I have 89 more and I also have a pretty pink obscenely expensive pill ($15.57 each, which is only $2 each for me because I have aetna) and then some white pill. I get one white pill in the morning, one half pink pill in the night, and as many (up to 3) green pills to survive my day. The doctor said to wait till I get home but I'm hardcore. This is all to treat anxiety/depression/mania/bipolarisms/mood swings but so far I'm only diagnosed with the first two. The doctor says they all make me drowsy which is great since I was already tired to begin with. I also feel very warm. And I was stressed considering I spent $300 today on doctors/pills/lending my mom $20. The pills $80. It was only $10 for two of them but those fuckers on the pink side want to milk me out of $60. My heads hurting. My face is hurting. I've never taken medicine before so I'm anxious on how I will feel. She explained it that the green pills are for surviving work, the blue pills are to stop it more long term and the white pills are for months or however long. She told me that the white ones don't kick into effect for 3-4 months so ill be taking the pink ones which go into effect in 3ish days. Idk. I just want to relax and watch 24 and eat pasta all day. But apparently that's not productive, and I'm turning agoraphobic, so we must stop that. We must stop that by sticking me with pills and making me pay $150 and then $80 every time after to do this. I have another therapist, who is only $50, and I see her on mondays since I hate mondays. I wonder if the pills will stop me from crying so much. She said they destress me which will stop my voice quivers and antsyness. I wonder how long before they take effect. I need to refill my water but I fear I may stumble like a drunk. I feel a litle drowsy, like, out of focus but she explained that could just be me. Idk. Anyway. Here are my new glasses. CMNT

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